Do you use "time-out" with your children?

A. No.

(If you do not use time-out, you may be missing one of the most powerful tools available to parents – though very often it is not used effectively.

Sneak peek: How to Raise Disciplined and Happy Children discusses how to get the very best results from time-out.)

B. Yes.

If you use time-out, do you think the technique is effective with your children?

A. No, it makes things worse.

B. No, it is usually not really effective.

C. Yes, sometimes it seems to work.

D. Yes, it works, at least most of the time.

If you find time-out is effective, does it result in a lasting change in behavior or just a change for the moment?

A. Usually there is little to no lasting change in behavior.

B. Sometimes it results in change that lasts, at least for a while.

C. Usually there is a clear and lasting change for the better.

If you are using time-out effectively, good for you. I try never to suggest fixing what isn’t broken. If you just keep up with what you have been doing you will likely continue to be successful. However, some parents of young children report that what works when kids are young isn’t as effective with older kids. You might find it worth your time to read How to Raise Disciplined and Happy Children how a new understanding of time-out can make it helpful to you.

If you find that time-out is not always, or even ever, effective, or that the effects only last for a short time with your children, think about whether any of the following statements seem to describe your situation:

A. "I usually wait until I am pretty annoyed with my kids before I decide to use time-out."

B. "I give my kids repeated warnings that they’ll have to go into time-out if they don’t behave better, but they just keep doing the same things anyway."

C. "When I send my kids to time-out I am usually so upset I want them to stay there for a long time, partly to give me some time away from them."

D. "Even when I send my kids to time-out, they usually get very upset and refuse to stay there until I tell them to come out."

E. "Typically I get so tired of arguing with the kids when they are supposed to be in time-out that I just give up and they do what they want to do."

F. "Time-out seems to me just like any other punishment and doesn’t work for my kids or me."

How to Raise Disciplined and Happy Children discusses time-out in considerable detail because so many parents find it ineffective and frustrating, often no more than just another form of threat and punishment.

Sneak peek: Because, when used correctly, time-out is one of the most powerful and anger-free tools of discipline available to parents, both the potential pitfalls and the way to overcome these limitations are considered in detail.

Bonus sneak peek: Time out is by far the most effective when built into an overall home program designed to help children behave responsibly in the first place, so that time-out is not needed very often. The book describes the steps to this comprehensive approach.

Another bonus sneak peek:  The book also provides clear guidelines for use of time-out away from home, where many kids are especially likely to push the limits, including while shopping, while driving, and while dining in a sit-down restaurant.

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